The hardest thing to do is say goodbye.

I wish this was going to be a motivational, and inspiring post but alas, I just need an ear for this one.

I am unfortunately going through a situation, that many don't relate or understand, and it makes things all the more complicated when you feel like you are talking to a wall. I have been struggling to come to terms with a situation my sibling has put my family in, and while the rest of them compliment and reward him with his decisions, I all of a sudden have been thrown in the dark. My family has not seen the accomplishments or the effort that I have gone through to achieve them and it doesn't confuse me but it also hurts. While he has gone out of his way to make himself noticeable and unique I feel that anything I say or do is not worthless. My brother and I are a year and 8 days apart, so between the two of us, we have always felt it is a competition to be noticed by our parents more than the other sibling. He always had better grades than me and always seemed to have more friends, but then in high school, the roles flipped. I became more active and became more social with my theatre department. My parents started recognizing me for my achievements and the amount of effort I put in to make myself recognized. My senior year this became a big struggle for my brother and began going out of the way in ways that families should never watch a child try to go through, to the point that it became illegal. I being slightly selfish, seemed to put it aside and not worry about it, until it started affecting me. Then my life started being altered by his decisions. My graduation party was put to a hold because of him, I almost didn't get to go on vacation and the list goes on. By my beginning of freshman year for college, I lost more than enough people in my life that I was close to and trusted, which resulted in me to focus on my family and re-create the relationships with them, one being my brother. All was well until the end of my brother's senior year. Fights were breaking out, the arguments would get larger and it would be to the point that people would leave for days at a time. I felt like my world was ending, and then one day I heard the words,"I'm moving to Reno, NV to live with my boyfriend."
Although I may be sounding like my brother is a horrible guy, he's really not. I have grown up with him and we used to be best friends. We made some amazing memories together and although he and I have the worst arguments in the world, I knew he was there for me. I knew I had him for an ear to listen and we would go out for lunch and talk about how much we hated people. I don't know why all of a sudden it's just hitting me that I am losing a big piece of my life. I seem selfish but I don't want him to leave. It feels that my family could care less about me at this point because my brother has made this huge change in his life that everyone is being affected by. I love my brother and I want the best for him but it just doesn't seem fair that he gets to go venture out while I stay. Will he come back? will he stay in touch? questions I won't get to know. Is it selfish that this is by far the most unsettling change that I am going through and I don't want him leaving, yes. I wish for just once, things would stay the same.

" She was unstoppable"

"She was unstoppable. Not because she did not have failures or doubts, but because she continued on despite them"-Beau Taplin

Over the years I have learned that in life you may not always be the winner. Is this an easy concept to grasp when your younger? Absolutely not. Growing up I've seen this occur in many instances as I'm sure others have to in their life. Today in the world, I feel that it's always a competition with everything you do. Whether it being the student with the highest GPA, getting the captain of a sports team, being selected as an officer for a club or organization, and I am sure there are a plenty more examples to name. I have looked at situations to where sometimes the results don't seem necessarily fair or equal. Rejection is part of life, and it has taken me a while to understand that concept regardless of how happy I am about it. You may work for something that you are passionate about, and will do whatever it takes but sometimes you just won't cut it. I've learned this recently with auditioning but has that stopped me? No. With dwelling over failure, it can create a blockage to want to give up on working towards something you want, this can be either applying for scholarships, jobs or even just improving on a talent or skill. But the thing that people don't tend to see is how failure can be a step closer to success. I have heard the phrase many times of "fall down seven times and stand up eight" which in my situation I always keep that as a motive. You can fall down multiple times, but if you don't stand up, how will you ever succeed your goal? I try my best to be unstoppable even when some days it seems impossible, but that is what support systems are for, and luckily I have been pretty lucky to have gained a pretty strong one that is always there to help me pick me up when I do fall. So letting other people's accomplishment should never define you because it's not your story, eventually everyone has their turn in the spotlight and when your time comes, it's because you chose to stand back up.

" A smile is the best makeup any girl can wear"

"A smile is the best makeup any girl can wear"

 Our society today focuses on stereotypes....and let me tell ya, I HATE THAT! Everyone in this world is created to be unique and different for a reason. But the fact that our world is so focused on doing whatever they can to be, or look like someone else isn't fair.

For girls today it is especially difficult. I know that this began for me when I was in 6th grade, and I knew that whatever I said, did, or looked, people would find a way to react to it. Girls today have to meet the standards or achieve whatever that "cool" thing is at the time. This was definitely an issue in middle school where every girl had to have a north face fanny bag, and ugg boots, wearing at least 10 pounds of makeup wearing enough eyeliner to barely see their eyes. All of these things are items that just make them fit the "status quo" and honestly it was all material. None of it had anything to do with your personality or what was on the inside, in fact no one cared. If you didn't have the next best thing to wear to school or to show off to your friends, you didn't cut it. I of course was one of those people. I cared too which really sucked because I would always end up being teased or cut out of everything. But it made me come to realize that later, none of that mattered. Still in my first years of High school I was still having a difficult time with it, I thought that being on the High school cheerleading squad would make me "popular" or and feel accepted. WRONG! It did everything but that. Luckily by the end of my sophomore year, I learned that it's okay to be different. People started seeing me for my personality and who I really was. For that reason, it made me bring out something that was hiding in the shadows longer than it should have, my smile.

Girls- people can judge and think that what you have, or wear, or say matters. Honestly in the end, it doesn't. You were made to be your own person and not to be just like someone else. There isn't much fun in that. Be your own person, make your smile show your personality to others as you were made to do.  It makes everyone see that your are better than the ones who are just there to hold up their status in this world. I promise others will think a lot more highly of you if you aren't following the crowd.

So remember your personality is what matters, and a smile is the best thing you can wear because it shines brighter than any jewelry you could possibly buy. The next best thing everyone is raving about probably isn't so special or unique if EVERYONE has it. Girls you were made to be YOU for a reason and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

"Courage doesn't always roar"

"Courage doesn't always roar"

this quote was first introduced to me my senior year of high school when my Director and Assistant Director called me into the office after a drama club meeting that day. I of course thought I was in trouble but I sat in the office to listen to what they had to say and My director explained to me that they have been watching me struggle recently and wanted to remind me that She and the assistant director were and would always be there for me as I follow my dreams. I was presented with a gift that had 2 frames and a mug all including a powerful quote on them and a card- that had a lot of positive supportive things in there but this quote stood out to me the most. throughout the year my assistant director would constantly remind me by using this quote through a text or a conversation. It was always a way of knowing that "trying again tomorrow" means a clean piece of paper in your story of your life.

Although a lot has changed since then- that specific quote still sits on my makeup vanity to remind me that there is always a new day right ahead of me if the day I'm enduring isn't how I wanted it to turn out.

That's what I want to discuss- That some days you just seem like your screwing everything up and you can't catch a break. Good news- Its not the end of the world! you always have tomorrow. Today for me was just one of those days. I had a lousy 7 hour shift at work and even through we were practically dead the entire time, I just couldn't get anything right. I messed up giving back change, I forgot to add a lady's coupon, I rang up an expensive item twice, the list gets longer too. But one Lady said something to me that included the word, "courage' and that quote popped into my head reminding me that tomorrow is a new day and today's mistakes won't matter. That was the one thing that got me through tonight.

So my advice- everyday is not going to be perfect. There are going to seem like days where you feel like everything wrong is somehow your fault. Well from experience, that honestly makes your feel worse than better. So take a deep breath, and remind yourself that tomorrow is a new day and you will achieve it all and then some. Think of it this way- even super heroes have bad days. And honestly it wouldn't be as good of a feeling if you didn't have those bad days to push you to make it to tomorrow. Also it always can make life a little more interesting.

 So if your feeling like today was not your day- well tomorrow will be another chance. Just before you try to give up think of this "Courage doesn't always roar, sometimes courage is the small voice inside that says, I will try again tomorrow"

New Hello's

 Hello! This idea of creating a blog came across my mind when I realized that my whole world was changing before my eyes and I was very unsure and couldn't predict what would happen. So I guess a little about me would include the fact that I just graduated High school and am adapting to the life of college and all the changes pertaining to it, whether it be the load of homework, saying goodbye to friends, or even just prioritizing my life. I am one who a major believer in setting goals and doing whatever it takes to achieve it. I am one who is very involved in activities and organizations ( Drama Club, College Shows, Honor Thespian etc.)  I am a student majoring in theatre, studying to become a Theatre Teacher.

So why do I think this a good idea? Well feel that voicing my opinion on things that I strongly agree with and possibly have a passion for or even believe in can be a way to contribute to today's society. I will say this though- throughout my life I am one individual who tends to be outspoken and even more looked to as an outcast. But luckily over the past couple of years, others have seen the light in me and have helped me stand on my feet and be with me through life's difficulties and proving to me that I am not alone in this world. Because of these few individuals, I managed to find inspiration to follow a path I never knew existed.

That is why I am creating this blog- to help and voice different scenarios life might throw at you. I have found that one solution to this is quotes. Ones given to me by others or simply found in books, movies, songs, and even the Internet. I will admit this, my room is full of them to remind me how powerful and meaningful these can be, whether they have a significant value to you or not. So I first say this, I am one who enjoys feedback. I enjoy hearing others voice opinion over my work and please do not hesitate to relay that opinion to me. I also love giving advice so if you have a question let me know. I am going to try my best to update daily, if not weekly. I tend to keep up with this kind of stuff on a regular basis. I am excited to try this out and hope that through my experiences and advice I might get to help out another individual who is struggling and needs a word of advice. So yeah first blog done and I hope you guys enjoy!